My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
