he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
