I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm always down for nudity.
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