Will you blow on my dice?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
