Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
