I'm lost and stupid without you.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize