i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
