I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
