sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
