His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize