hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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