Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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