She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize