I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
