I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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