Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
did you just send me my own nude
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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