Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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