What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
