what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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