I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
