remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Randomize