i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
