this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
