Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
