Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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