it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
