Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
