Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
