Whod you bang
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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