those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
