No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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