I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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