The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I lost the right to judge tonight
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