I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
