Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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