i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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