Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
