dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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