Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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