threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize