We're facebook friends in real life
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize