i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Randomize
