a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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