I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
