and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize