he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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