Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
