So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize