I want to walk on stilts...naked
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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