I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
that's an acceptable place to lick
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
