I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
