how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize