Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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